Our Nest is Empty

 

The days are long but the years are short is a quote about parenthood that didn’t mean much to me when my kids were toddlers and honestly, some days it made me angry. Because, to be honest, some days the days were VERY long.  Some days it seemed like I was barely enduring the exhaustion of early motherhood. But now, having survived raising my boys to “technical” adulthood, I completely understand the sentiment behind the quote. The last twenty years have flown by. From the days back when I thought I could not take one more minute of toddler tantrums to all of a sudden, I’m missing those chubby fingers asking to hold my hand or a little guy climbing up into my lap for a story. There is something about toddler hands with dimpled knuckles that melts my heart. Now, some mornings, Facebook likes to torture me with the “memories” it posts.  It seems to find photos of my little guys at their cutest. I guess I’m fortunate that Facebook was not around when my kids were very small, then the images in those Facebook memories would just remind me that I no longer have babies to hold and rock.

It all went by so quickly but if a well-meaning stranger in the grocery store told me to “enjoy this time” back when my babies were fussing and fighting it was all I could do not to scream.    I remember my grandmother telling my husband not to wish his life away when he was dreaming about retiring from his job over twenty years ago.  At the time, we thought this day would never come and now we are facing an “empty nest” and retirement. This week my youngest son turns 18, he graduated high school this year, he will start college later this month.  My older son graduated high school and moved into his college dorm two years ago. Our home is no longer noisy and chaotic. At the end of this month, my husband retires after a 34-year career in law-enforcement. So many changes in a very short time!

 

Our kids no longer need us every day, in fact, if it seems like we can go days without hearing from either of them unless we seek them out for a meal or conversation. For the last 20 years, my life has been dedicated to raising my family.  I left a high paying career to become a Stay at Home Mom after my first son was born.  Along the way, we made adjustments to our lifestyle that gave me the luxury to be able to stay at home with our kids while they were small.   For a while, I may have lost sight of “me” in giving it my all to raise my children to the best of my ability.  Now I feel that it is time for my husband and me to spend more time with each other. It is an odd feeling to think about planning a vacation and only search for two award seats instead of trying to find seats for a family of four. Hotel rooms will seem much more spacious now, but maybe a bit too quiet sometimes.

Like any other transition in life I’m sure we will soon be used to this new stage in our lives, but for a while, it will feel wrong. It is an adjustment and we are looking forward to learning how to navigate this time in our lives and rediscovering “us”. We plan to travel more and enjoy the experiences that are out there waiting. I hope you’ll come along and read about our adventures as we are “Enjoying the Prime”!

 

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